For me, this part of winter isn’t just about staying warm, it’s about finding ways not to feel defeated by the gloom. What are you doing these days to help yourself stay vibrant inside?(Yes, yes, I know about the SAD lamps. WE ALL KNOW ABOUT THE LAMPS. Tell me about anything else. Please, I beg. LOL.)
It really helps me to take a walk sometime between 3-5 pm, although maybe 2 minutes and 8 seconds later every day? It helps not to be surprised by the darkness. If I'm home and I look up and the windows are black I feel ambushed, but if I'm out when it's happening, I enjoy the gloaming. I find that winter colors (sunsets, red berries on leafless bushes, violet hills) are just as pleasing as summer ones, you just have to look harder.
I buy myself flowers from Trader Joe’s every couple of weeks. I was bemoaning (to myself) why no one ever bought me flowers and, lo and behold, realized I could do it for myself 💕 small lesson big shift. I am also trying new recipes, rowing as often as possible (and getting to watch the sun rise) and lighting candles at dusk.
My wife and I have lots of small routines that feel like rituals. We wash our sheets on Sundays so we can do face masks in bed in fresh sheets. About once a week, I slow roast a chicken, then save the bones to make stock, then try out a new soup from the stock. We read a poem aloud each night before bed. Also, I try to always have a novel I'm reading. Once I finish one, I immediately start a new one. Reading keeps me off my phone, which always makes me feel less gloomy.
Listening to the Encanto soundtrack, swearing a lot, walking long distances in negative-degree weather in my new turquoise snowsuit (I said, "All I want for Christmas is a toddler snowsuit but for adults," and my mom came through big time), drinking hot cocoa with abandon, lighting candles at every meal. That's all I've got.
I am a fiction writer and I'm reading poetry again. Wakes me up like nothing else. Also, long baths in a big tub with a board thing to put over it for reading and writing in the water. Had a concussion early in the pandemic, so being able to read again is bringing me so much joy.
I’m one of the odd ones who love winter… I love walking by the lake (I live near Chicago). Any negative feelings, gloom or otherwise, gets swept away by the sound of crashing waves, the rougher the better…. A vicarious release of pent up feelings.
For me, I feel like sometimes these darker feelings need to be released in order for me to feel happier thoughts. Sometimes the lake meets me in my mood and helps me let go of things… I don’t know.
Looking at the vast lake fill me with wonder, still. Love the water…
Eating oysters. They're a seemingly perfect summer food that's actually better in the winter (eat them in months with an R!); they taste like sea spray and adventure; they're a project to pry open; they require bubbly; they're highly sustainable and good for the ocean!
My wife and I are watching more standup comedy and funny movies. Netflix has a standup show (see the Naomi Ekperigin one for sure). There's a great bunch of comedy on YouTube. There's a really funny movie we watched last night called Bad Words (I literally cried laughing at it). Just anything we think is funny. We watch after dinner so that the evenings are reserved for comedy and things that are upbeat.
Thank you for posting this question—like you (it seems), I need ideas! We got a Christmas tree earlier than usual this year because I wanted something spangly in the apartment, like RIGHT NOW. Now I feel disappointed every morning when I don’t see the tree in the living room. A thing that does help me is listening to ambient music (like Nils Frahm, for example) at night. It makes the darkness seem like I’m swimming underwater rather than merely submerged in winter.
Yes! I want to figure out if/how to hang fairy lights off of *something* in our living room. No fig trees in our apartment, though. Our living room gets only very very very indirect natural light.
I am buying byredo perfume samples, testing my sense of smell - trying to keep it sharp for the current reasons and also supporting the little perfume shop down the street, win win…and i’m also chipping away at learning italian and banjo. binge watching emily in paris to feel like i’m in paris even though i know it’s a bad show i don’t even care.
I just bought a bed frame (it's been too long), splurged on some colorful linen bedding, and some cute dinnerware to replace old ones. Seems like a lot of consumerism, I know. But it's the stuff I use and look at everyday and it just feels good.
I lean into the eucalpytus/lavendar combo, but there's no wrong turn in this journey. Oh, and fresh eucalyptus hanging in the shower. That's a good move, too.
A hearty second for the hot spa steam shower, especially as a mid-day pick-me-up. Have you discovered shower bombs? They look like lavender scented urine cakes that you drop on the floor of the shower and they dissolve and turn your shower steam into a scented dreamland. Highly recommend.
I'm right there with you. I've been doing a walking meditation audio series each morning on living mindfully. I'm inside, in my slippers and warmest sweatpants, but my mind is happily engaged. So far, I feel a lot of benefit. Also reading Paulina Bren's recently published history, THE BARBIZON, THE HOTEL THAT SET WOMEN FREE and it is sparkling! Full of small stories that shaped lives in a big way.
Trying new things with friends like making candles together or a learning a new small skill. Just for fun, just for the sake of learning and spending time with people.
What has helped me with winter bleh and Sunday scaries is bake. I'm definitely no professional, but it's been fun trying new things! The structure of prepping, creating, and then having something to eat after is delightful. Was really into making bagels last year, this year I've been experimenting different ways to amp up Challah bread.
This is what I came here to say! My favorite approach. Sometimes this is working from bed or a hot bath mid afternoon, always it is many soft things and candles and books and television. (Having three cats and a dog who only want to snuggle helps this strategy immensely.)
Last week, my husband and I got ramen, had a couple beers, and then watched My Dinner with Andre. We'd never seen it. It is such a weird beautiful movie.
I’m embracing softness. For me, that means warm food like soups and stews, ginger tea, hot baths, thiqq socks, sitting on my couch during the part of the afternoon when the sunlight streams in. Taking a daily (more so when I remember) photo of the same view outside my bedroom window to document passing time and changing of the seasons.
I started doing pottery — the hands-on nature of it, the focus required, and especially the practice of slowly working away at something I started out very bad at have been very nourishing. Now I save and sketch ideas and log my progress with photos.
Not sure I have any great solutions, but thank you for saying this about the SAD lamps! I mentioned to a friend about how winter was just beating me down and she kept saying “you gotta use that damn lamp.” Umm, one little lamp is not really gonna make January less of a bleak, desolate HELLSCAPE, JESSICA.
I’m one of the lucky ones dealing with long-haul covid (0/10 do not recommend), but it forced me to adapt to being at home because for a while I just couldn’t do a lot at that time. And somehow it’s…OK? Don’t get me wrong I’m an extrovert so is it always great no - but in a lot of ways some acceptance of “this is life right now, no one said it’s forever” has been peaceful.
One of my goals this year is to read lighter fare and more funny books, after reading too many sad stories last year. It’s a small doable shift to bring more levity to my life.
Step outside and breath non-inside air - even just three or four deep breaths. That air and my lungs have made it through this before - we can do it again.
Caveat - several of my friends call me by their nickname for me, "Nana" so I'll just start there. But knitting and listening to audiobooks, usually with a blanket and/or my dog in my lap has become an almost nightly ritual right now, and it's keeping me warm (literally and spiritually) during these dark times.
in the middle of winter i treat myself to a new sun dress & then hang it up where i can see it until it is warm enough to wear it outside.
searching for something cute, secondhand, and affordable is a fun task plus seeing a dress when i’m layered in thermals and knits reminds me that winter isn’t endless and that spring will come
Every day watching something grow. I planted some poppies from seed just for this. Watching the tiny little sprouts come up filled me with joy. Yet it's not the result that's popping out as important. It was the act of watching. The act of noticing that has me feeling more present in this body, in this time, in this life.
3ish years after obtaining a guitar I have actually started teaching myself guitar. My fingers hurt and I sound terrible but it's a lot of fun! In 9-12 months I'm sure I will be very skilled, or at least able to play Wonderwall.
Here, here. I’m about to start re-reading SONG OF ACHILLES by Madeline Miller. I recently finished and loved WHERE THE WILD LADIES ARE by Aoko Matsuda. What are you reading, Dani?
Love it. I'm actually reading "Tell Me How It Ends" by Valeria Luiselli which is *not* fiction, ha. And, I'm committed (to the damn best of my ability!) to read all the books on my bookshelf that I haven't read yet before purchasing any new ones...next up is "10:04" by Ben Lerner. Thanks for this question! I'm always looking for more joy practices and I'll be checking back to see what folks share 💓
The City We Became is in my library patiently waiting for me. :-) I switch between fiction and non-fiction. So, next, I am either going to read Harlem Shuffle, Reign of Terror, or Against White Feminism. I pick up and put down Four Hundred Souls because I can't read more than a couple of essays before I start to either get white hot angry or cry.
Me, too! Devouring books this month. SA Cosby's Razorblade Tears and Blacktop Wasteland, some creepy Nordic Noir from Jo Nesbo, Portis' Dog of the South, and I just got Olga Dies Dreaming in the mail. Good therapy, all.
I tore through Razorblade Tears in about 24 hours at the end of December. Picked up Blacktop Wasteland last night but it doesn't seem to have the same propulsive feel -- thoughts on one versus the other?
Agree with you on that. I loved them both, but Blacktop doesn't grab you by the lapels from the start in the same way that Razorblade does (there are some great action scenes later in Blacktop, though), and I think Razorblade works better overall in some ways.
Trying to stay upbeat, I will grab my bachi sticks and play taiko drums, or two wooden spoons / utensils and play on pots, or two chopsticks and drum on anything haha <3
My husband passed away (sorry I just cannot use the "d" word) 4 years ago today so it's kinda been a very long long time for me trying to stay vibrant inside. That said, I am finally able to read again as of about 5 months ago so I am enjoying that. And I take a break from all things "cyber" every so often. Turn off the internet connection. Turn off the phones. And just enjoy the unexpected spaciousness that seems to come from not feeling the need to respond to any beeps and rings. And a break from the news.
Lots of candles as soon as the sun goes down, lots of meditation and walks. But this afternoon I will try citrus peels and cinnamon -- that sounds like a wonderfully comforting thing to do.
Laura, I'm sorry for your loss; I'm sorry that anniversaries are so gnarly. It's clear you've thought through what you need and what's worth pulling close during this time. Wishing you well.
anniversaries are gnarly aren’t they? thanks for reading between the lines and understanding that grief is not something you get over but rather a treasured companion just now in a different form
Exercise - I know, ugh, but it really helps with the blahs and gives you a sense of accomplishment. The other is singing. Sounds silly but, for me, belting out a favorite tune (Barbra Streisand's live mash up of Where you lead/Sweet inspiration) and maybe shaking your booty a little can be a great mood elevator.
I hula hoop every day. It takes a few weeks to get the hang of it when you start but it's a joyous thing to do to music and even while you just watch a show
I'm taking this time to actually plan and design what I want my home to look and FEEL like. Not just buying whatever is on sale. I still like my deals now...but I either wait until something I truly want goes on sale or save up to buy it. I have no interior design skills, but it feels so much better when actual thought goes into it.
I don’t know how common they are but the arboretum in Seattle has a winter garden and it always lifts the endless gray of winter. The garden has winter blooming plants like hellebore and witch hazel, trees with colorful bark, plants that smell amazing, etc. Usually the hummingbirds and other birds are bopping around so it feels like a tiny oasis of spring.
For me, walking outside, even if it's just around the block. Going slow and noticing all the things my 5 senses are picking up. It's meditative and powerful.
Reading for the most part but also some form of exercise, taking a walk even if the weather is incredibly cold (this one takes a lot of pep talking to myself to make it happen), writing, telling my plants they’re beautiful, wearing a bright lipstick even if I’m staying indoors, taking extra time on my skincare routine, watching New York apartment tour videos on YouTube, going on social media to gas up my friends about their accomplishments, or just taking a nice nap. Whatever I can do to make myself happy gets me through.
My partner bought me a rainbow coloured unicorn onesie for my thirtieth birthday and it's arriving today and I'm excited to basically live out the rest of bad winter (post new year's) in it
2 minutes and 8 seconds. That's how much sunlight we gain every day after the winter solstice leading up to the longest day of the year.
2 minutes and 8 seconds.
I look out for the light, now that I know it's coming. It's like a little promise that will never not be, and I find that very comforting.
I’ll make a point of keeping that in mind this afternoon. 2 minutes and 8 seconds.
This is beautiful. Thank you. 2 minutes and 8 seconds.
It really helps me to take a walk sometime between 3-5 pm, although maybe 2 minutes and 8 seconds later every day? It helps not to be surprised by the darkness. If I'm home and I look up and the windows are black I feel ambushed, but if I'm out when it's happening, I enjoy the gloaming. I find that winter colors (sunsets, red berries on leafless bushes, violet hills) are just as pleasing as summer ones, you just have to look harder.
I always feel great when I finally go for a walk, then I forget to do so again for two weeks. SMH.
Haha yep…just because it helps doesn’t mean I do it :)
I buy myself flowers from Trader Joe’s every couple of weeks. I was bemoaning (to myself) why no one ever bought me flowers and, lo and behold, realized I could do it for myself 💕 small lesson big shift. I am also trying new recipes, rowing as often as possible (and getting to watch the sun rise) and lighting candles at dusk.
I do this too with Trader Joe’s flowers -especially if I know it’s going to be a long week.
Yes! I love buying myself flowers. And for the same reason.
Yes! Candles when it gets dark makes a big difference.
Citrus fruits. I simmer the peels on the stove with some rosemary or cinnamon for good smells.
I should do this today. Thanks for the reminder.
I am daydreaming about my summer garden and drawing/planning what to plant in the spring and summer. I want to be more vibrant!
My favorite part about this, Lena, is that you’re also DRAWING the plants you look forward to nurturing. That’s lovely.
that is divine! i’ll be doing a planting plan and watercoloring plant choices. sketchbook solidarity, Lena!
Oh yes! Getting heirloom seed catalogues in the mail, with the promise of future beauty hiding in the pages is such a joy right now.
My wife and I have lots of small routines that feel like rituals. We wash our sheets on Sundays so we can do face masks in bed in fresh sheets. About once a week, I slow roast a chicken, then save the bones to make stock, then try out a new soup from the stock. We read a poem aloud each night before bed. Also, I try to always have a novel I'm reading. Once I finish one, I immediately start a new one. Reading keeps me off my phone, which always makes me feel less gloomy.
Yes! Rituals help.
Listening to the Encanto soundtrack, swearing a lot, walking long distances in negative-degree weather in my new turquoise snowsuit (I said, "All I want for Christmas is a toddler snowsuit but for adults," and my mom came through big time), drinking hot cocoa with abandon, lighting candles at every meal. That's all I've got.
I am a fiction writer and I'm reading poetry again. Wakes me up like nothing else. Also, long baths in a big tub with a board thing to put over it for reading and writing in the water. Had a concussion early in the pandemic, so being able to read again is bringing me so much joy.
!!! / Delighted you’re able to read again, Susan!
this is all SO GREAT
I’m one of the odd ones who love winter… I love walking by the lake (I live near Chicago). Any negative feelings, gloom or otherwise, gets swept away by the sound of crashing waves, the rougher the better…. A vicarious release of pent up feelings.
For me, I feel like sometimes these darker feelings need to be released in order for me to feel happier thoughts. Sometimes the lake meets me in my mood and helps me let go of things… I don’t know.
Looking at the vast lake fill me with wonder, still. Love the water…
Yeah, I miss getting to walk near water regularly. It always acts upon me in a wonderful way.
Walk by the rivers! Columbus has workable rivers.
writing letters, making small zines and collages that I exchange with friends warm me up and brighten my day.
Love this! I've been writing more letters lately and it's pretty neat.
Candles really help me. And feeding the birds.
Eating oysters. They're a seemingly perfect summer food that's actually better in the winter (eat them in months with an R!); they taste like sea spray and adventure; they're a project to pry open; they require bubbly; they're highly sustainable and good for the ocean!
I’m shooketh! I love oysters but haven’t tried them during the winter months. Good tip!
oh my gaaah! so glad to learn about this winter oyster thing!!
My wife and I are watching more standup comedy and funny movies. Netflix has a standup show (see the Naomi Ekperigin one for sure). There's a great bunch of comedy on YouTube. There's a really funny movie we watched last night called Bad Words (I literally cried laughing at it). Just anything we think is funny. We watch after dinner so that the evenings are reserved for comedy and things that are upbeat.
Thank you for posting this question—like you (it seems), I need ideas! We got a Christmas tree earlier than usual this year because I wanted something spangly in the apartment, like RIGHT NOW. Now I feel disappointed every morning when I don’t see the tree in the living room. A thing that does help me is listening to ambient music (like Nils Frahm, for example) at night. It makes the darkness seem like I’m swimming underwater rather than merely submerged in winter.
I hear ya. This time of year seems to demand a bit more inventiveness, I guess?
Never had a Christmas tree (Jew) but just put fairy lights in the fig tree in my living room. Love the 5:30 glow with some Wes Montgomery.
Yes! I want to figure out if/how to hang fairy lights off of *something* in our living room. No fig trees in our apartment, though. Our living room gets only very very very indirect natural light.
I am buying byredo perfume samples, testing my sense of smell - trying to keep it sharp for the current reasons and also supporting the little perfume shop down the street, win win…and i’m also chipping away at learning italian and banjo. binge watching emily in paris to feel like i’m in paris even though i know it’s a bad show i don’t even care.
I have also been living through scent - testing perfumes, candles, and incense.
yes! the perfume shoppe down the way (zgo -zen garden oasis) also has japanese incense and mariage frere tea incense and i am living for it
I just bought a bed frame (it's been too long), splurged on some colorful linen bedding, and some cute dinnerware to replace old ones. Seems like a lot of consumerism, I know. But it's the stuff I use and look at everyday and it just feels good.
Hotttt, steam showers w/ essential oil shower sprays -- mini spa experience if you close your eyes hard enough.
By the grace of spa-like showers, go I.
I lean into the eucalpytus/lavendar combo, but there's no wrong turn in this journey. Oh, and fresh eucalyptus hanging in the shower. That's a good move, too.
Big fan of the eucalyptus hanging strategy.
A hearty second for the hot spa steam shower, especially as a mid-day pick-me-up. Have you discovered shower bombs? They look like lavender scented urine cakes that you drop on the floor of the shower and they dissolve and turn your shower steam into a scented dreamland. Highly recommend.
Kind words spoken to someone, telling them just how much they mean to you.
I'm right there with you. I've been doing a walking meditation audio series each morning on living mindfully. I'm inside, in my slippers and warmest sweatpants, but my mind is happily engaged. So far, I feel a lot of benefit. Also reading Paulina Bren's recently published history, THE BARBIZON, THE HOTEL THAT SET WOMEN FREE and it is sparkling! Full of small stories that shaped lives in a big way.
Trying new things with friends like making candles together or a learning a new small skill. Just for fun, just for the sake of learning and spending time with people.
What has helped me with winter bleh and Sunday scaries is bake. I'm definitely no professional, but it's been fun trying new things! The structure of prepping, creating, and then having something to eat after is delightful. Was really into making bagels last year, this year I've been experimenting different ways to amp up Challah bread.
my morning routine includes yoga and piano and...it's a pretty vibrant start to the day WHEN I can get up early enough to get er done.
That is HELLA vibrant.
I just fully lean into being cozy at home with candles, knitting, and whatever takeout comfort food I feel like at the time.
My beeswax candles >>>>>>>>>>
This is what I came here to say! My favorite approach. Sometimes this is working from bed or a hot bath mid afternoon, always it is many soft things and candles and books and television. (Having three cats and a dog who only want to snuggle helps this strategy immensely.)
Last week, my husband and I got ramen, had a couple beers, and then watched My Dinner with Andre. We'd never seen it. It is such a weird beautiful movie.
I’m embracing softness. For me, that means warm food like soups and stews, ginger tea, hot baths, thiqq socks, sitting on my couch during the part of the afternoon when the sunlight streams in. Taking a daily (more so when I remember) photo of the same view outside my bedroom window to document passing time and changing of the seasons.
Just made some lemon/ginger/mint tea. XO.
I put nuts and seeds out for the squirrels on my deck just so I can be distracted by them later.
I gleefully spy on my dog when he's eating for the same reason. LOL.
I started doing pottery — the hands-on nature of it, the focus required, and especially the practice of slowly working away at something I started out very bad at have been very nourishing. Now I save and sketch ideas and log my progress with photos.
*bats eyelashes at my favorite potter Seth Rogen* Wait, is that what we call them? Potters?
Not sure I have any great solutions, but thank you for saying this about the SAD lamps! I mentioned to a friend about how winter was just beating me down and she kept saying “you gotta use that damn lamp.” Umm, one little lamp is not really gonna make January less of a bleak, desolate HELLSCAPE, JESSICA.
I’m one of the lucky ones dealing with long-haul covid (0/10 do not recommend), but it forced me to adapt to being at home because for a while I just couldn’t do a lot at that time. And somehow it’s…OK? Don’t get me wrong I’m an extrovert so is it always great no - but in a lot of ways some acceptance of “this is life right now, no one said it’s forever” has been peaceful.
One of my goals this year is to read lighter fare and more funny books, after reading too many sad stories last year. It’s a small doable shift to bring more levity to my life.
Step outside and breath non-inside air - even just three or four deep breaths. That air and my lungs have made it through this before - we can do it again.
Caveat - several of my friends call me by their nickname for me, "Nana" so I'll just start there. But knitting and listening to audiobooks, usually with a blanket and/or my dog in my lap has become an almost nightly ritual right now, and it's keeping me warm (literally and spiritually) during these dark times.
in the middle of winter i treat myself to a new sun dress & then hang it up where i can see it until it is warm enough to wear it outside.
searching for something cute, secondhand, and affordable is a fun task plus seeing a dress when i’m layered in thermals and knits reminds me that winter isn’t endless and that spring will come
Pickling veggies! So far I’ve done carrots (so many carrots), cauliflower, and radishes. Also romance novels.
Every day watching something grow. I planted some poppies from seed just for this. Watching the tiny little sprouts come up filled me with joy. Yet it's not the result that's popping out as important. It was the act of watching. The act of noticing that has me feeling more present in this body, in this time, in this life.
3ish years after obtaining a guitar I have actually started teaching myself guitar. My fingers hurt and I sound terrible but it's a lot of fun! In 9-12 months I'm sure I will be very skilled, or at least able to play Wonderwall.
You're a legend, Kathleen.
reading fiction!
Here, here. I’m about to start re-reading SONG OF ACHILLES by Madeline Miller. I recently finished and loved WHERE THE WILD LADIES ARE by Aoko Matsuda. What are you reading, Dani?
Love it. I'm actually reading "Tell Me How It Ends" by Valeria Luiselli which is *not* fiction, ha. And, I'm committed (to the damn best of my ability!) to read all the books on my bookshelf that I haven't read yet before purchasing any new ones...next up is "10:04" by Ben Lerner. Thanks for this question! I'm always looking for more joy practices and I'll be checking back to see what folks share 💓
Oh, this too! Finishing the Broken Earth trilogy from N.K. Jemisin. So brilliant!
I just read The City We Became by NK Jemisin. Made me so happy. Loved the Broken Earth trilogy, too.
The City We Became is in my library patiently waiting for me. :-) I switch between fiction and non-fiction. So, next, I am either going to read Harlem Shuffle, Reign of Terror, or Against White Feminism. I pick up and put down Four Hundred Souls because I can't read more than a couple of essays before I start to either get white hot angry or cry.
Me, too! Devouring books this month. SA Cosby's Razorblade Tears and Blacktop Wasteland, some creepy Nordic Noir from Jo Nesbo, Portis' Dog of the South, and I just got Olga Dies Dreaming in the mail. Good therapy, all.
I tore through Razorblade Tears in about 24 hours at the end of December. Picked up Blacktop Wasteland last night but it doesn't seem to have the same propulsive feel -- thoughts on one versus the other?
Agree with you on that. I loved them both, but Blacktop doesn't grab you by the lapels from the start in the same way that Razorblade does (there are some great action scenes later in Blacktop, though), and I think Razorblade works better overall in some ways.
Good to know! I appreciate it.
oh damn! I just read an essay by Xochitl Gonzalez (in LitHub recently, I think?), excited to check that one out.
I'll look for that. Just listened to her on the Maris Review podcast, really thoughtful and high energy.
Trying to stay upbeat, I will grab my bachi sticks and play taiko drums, or two wooden spoons / utensils and play on pots, or two chopsticks and drum on anything haha <3
My husband passed away (sorry I just cannot use the "d" word) 4 years ago today so it's kinda been a very long long time for me trying to stay vibrant inside. That said, I am finally able to read again as of about 5 months ago so I am enjoying that. And I take a break from all things "cyber" every so often. Turn off the internet connection. Turn off the phones. And just enjoy the unexpected spaciousness that seems to come from not feeling the need to respond to any beeps and rings. And a break from the news.
Lots of candles as soon as the sun goes down, lots of meditation and walks. But this afternoon I will try citrus peels and cinnamon -- that sounds like a wonderfully comforting thing to do.
Laura, I'm sorry for your loss; I'm sorry that anniversaries are so gnarly. It's clear you've thought through what you need and what's worth pulling close during this time. Wishing you well.
anniversaries are gnarly aren’t they? thanks for reading between the lines and understanding that grief is not something you get over but rather a treasured companion just now in a different form
Exercise - I know, ugh, but it really helps with the blahs and gives you a sense of accomplishment. The other is singing. Sounds silly but, for me, belting out a favorite tune (Barbra Streisand's live mash up of Where you lead/Sweet inspiration) and maybe shaking your booty a little can be a great mood elevator.
I hula hoop every day. It takes a few weeks to get the hang of it when you start but it's a joyous thing to do to music and even while you just watch a show
piling a bunch of blankets on myself and watching golden girls. a lot of the episodes hold up great, and they are *incredibly* funny.
I'm taking this time to actually plan and design what I want my home to look and FEEL like. Not just buying whatever is on sale. I still like my deals now...but I either wait until something I truly want goes on sale or save up to buy it. I have no interior design skills, but it feels so much better when actual thought goes into it.
I don’t know how common they are but the arboretum in Seattle has a winter garden and it always lifts the endless gray of winter. The garden has winter blooming plants like hellebore and witch hazel, trees with colorful bark, plants that smell amazing, etc. Usually the hummingbirds and other birds are bopping around so it feels like a tiny oasis of spring.
planting some summer flowers under a grow light, just to see if they come up.
For me, walking outside, even if it's just around the block. Going slow and noticing all the things my 5 senses are picking up. It's meditative and powerful.
Reading for the most part but also some form of exercise, taking a walk even if the weather is incredibly cold (this one takes a lot of pep talking to myself to make it happen), writing, telling my plants they’re beautiful, wearing a bright lipstick even if I’m staying indoors, taking extra time on my skincare routine, watching New York apartment tour videos on YouTube, going on social media to gas up my friends about their accomplishments, or just taking a nice nap. Whatever I can do to make myself happy gets me through.
I've been taking long walks with my dog on the rail trail in the morning. Rarely see another person, and get to watch the season change day to day.
Reading approximately one romance novel per day. 😬
Whatever it takes!
My partner bought me a rainbow coloured unicorn onesie for my thirtieth birthday and it's arriving today and I'm excited to basically live out the rest of bad winter (post new year's) in it