What’s a habit or practice that has turned out to be really great for you lately even though, in the past, you rolled your eyes every time someone proposed you try it?
I know it’s only a matter of time before I give in and adopt my boyfriend’s habit of stretching in the morning. I’m not there yet tho!
I used to get overwhelmed by certain tasks and a friend who has whipped her ADHD into shape recommended "bucketing" for everything, which I now recognize as a divide & conquer or break down into manageable pieces approach. Clothes overwhelming? Multiple baskets & do one at a time. Paperwork? Multiple baskets & handle one at a time. Lots of things to do? Multiple lists grouped by type. This may not work for others, but def worked for her & also for me once I got my brain to take the first step.
This is why I use Notion for all of my life and project management - I can set up "buckets" (my boards in Notion) for everything... and move them around constantly and create different buckets and systems whenever my brain starts processing information in different ways -
The ADHD also means I often spend more time doing the above - creating, tweaking, recreating, moving around, thinking about - my notion boards than I do engaging with the things recorded on them....(she says as she wonders if her adderall will make it the whole month this month and why there are 7-5 pages of handwritten notes she wants to put in her notion database but everytime she starts, she gets sidetracked by the note and where it came from and why she kept it and what she could do with it in the future - hence how it gets entered into notion. :)
I’ve started telling myself that I’m just trying something out. Much easier for my stubborn self to say I’m “trying out” a social media break, “trying out” journaling, etc. It always felt like such a fake trick in the past, but now my brain doesn’t buck against going full-in or cold-turkey. Kinda like breaking down tasks…and I don’t feel so much like I’ve failed if it doesn’t stick.
Yes Debra that works for me, too! I use “I wonder” statements so that I see the new thing as exploration rather than full on committing to something. “I wonder how it feels to sit in silence each morning for 5 mins” has turned into a daily practice that I look forward to each day.
Daily pages journaling. I started it last year and it really has made my mornings better. A quick brain dump of all the static in my head, clear it out, and start the day.
I struggle so hard with journaling & I write for a living (it's my secret shame). When you say "daily pages," is there a specific type of page you're using? I'd love to learn more.
Doing daily pages is a bit too much for me, at least right now. BUT! My gratitude entries are just 3-5 sentences a day, usually. For me, keeping it concise/brief helps. If I want to write a little more, I do, but yeah.
I don’t remember who put me on to my daily gratitude practice but its called 2 minute morning. It’s quick and to the point. Each morning, answer the following:
The concept comes from The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron - if you do it by the book, it's just 3 pages a morning, longhand, however it comes out. I don't do it purely; I bought a Moleskine daily planner that has 1 blank page a day and I fill it out. Some days I only have a few lines, others I run out of space. But it's just the discipline of doing one little thing to set a start for the day, y'know? I drink my coffee and write for a couple minutes, then face my day.
I have always resisted journaling (I think it has something to do with it feeling "girly" to me, and I have some internalized misogyny) but I'm reading a book that suggests it and she wrote out historical figures who kept a diary. Do I think I'm better than Ida B. Wells or Albert Einstein? I'm too busy compared to Marie friggin Curie? It's working! And I feel better!
One of my BFF's has been preaching audiobooks to me for a minute. And in 2020, when I started traveling full time (not necessarily by choice but more due to lack of income and homelessness...), he really went all in on me. I'm love books. I love holding them. I love interacting with them. I frequently mark a book all kind of up and send it to someone as a gift (i.e. giving gut reactions in a poetry book after poems I really loved or really didn't, circling words or phrases I know they love or thing they need, and even noting when I misunderstood something, like "So weird I thought she wrote chickin lickin good - about the founder of KFC, but she wrote chillin lickin good about the need for corporat punishment. oops."
On a long ass road trip in 2019, I lisented to Michelle Obama read her book, Belonging. It made me feel incredibly close to her, and I constatly/conveniently commented that if she ever came to see any of my friends/family, it would be clear that our conversation was one-sided...me just lisnteing to her read her own story....
So in June 2021, when I started traveling full on full time, I bought a couple of the "most talked about" memoirs of the year (so far)...Kiese Layamon's, HEAVY, Carmen Maria Machado's, Int he Dream House, and Alexander Chi's, "How to write an autobiographical novel.'
I loved this process SO much that I started listening to - not reading - any memoir where the author reads it (including yours, which I listened to on a drive from FL to Richmond, VA!). Often I'm pulling over (since I'm almost always drviwing at the same time... to write down a note that comes from something the author just said, shared, or supposed...the kinds of things I would have commented on in the margins of the book.
I ended 2021 listening to Dante Stewart read, "Shoutin' in the Fire," and it was the perfect ending to my "year o memoirs" - all in all I believe I read/listend to 50+ memoirs/essay collections/etc. I am now officially hooked.
Moving my body in the first part of each day. Honestly, it helps in a few ways - releases tension in my body which helps me start my day feeling relaxed, better mood, and more energy and focus. Also, reframing how I view exercise has been a huge plus. Each day I say to myself “how are you moving this body today, girl” and that makes it fun and light and it doesn’t feel like a task. Moving my body can mean so many things - walking my dog, stretching, hula hoop, swinging a kettle bell, or putting on a favorite song and dancing hard like I am trying out to be a backup dancer for Beyonce.
Early morning walks rain or shine. Even when it's freezing. Sunlight in eyes, that kinda thing. Does wonders for my fluctuating mental state, (at least for the first few hours of the day).
Me too. Anyone have ways to trick yourself to walk outside when you HATE the cold? Other than "bundling up" which works once I'm outside but doesn't help me get out the front door?
Daily walks have become so important. I was sitting at my desk yesterday and started spiraling and dragged myself out of the house for a second walk. Even 15 minutes can help me reset. And Saeed, I hear your boyfriend on the stretching, but I'm not there yet. ; )
Like.... I get it, I get it. Stretching is a GREAT idea. And I do feel great when I do it... once every three or four months. LOL. But, ya know, I transform at my own pace.
I am the worst at routines and habits. But guided meditation, especially at night if I'm struggling to wind down and sleep, has been so helpful. And I totally rolled my eyes at the guided meditation advice in the past.
I will admit that, in the last couple of years, taking a moment to breathe with intention when I'm feeling tense or anxious HAS been really helpful. It's such a simple thing but whew.
Creating an evening routine! For the longest time I thought I just could NOT make it work but it was just a matter of finding the right combination of activities. Now it goes something like this: Make a cup of tea, queue up an audiobook or podcast, get my sewing supplies and then proceed to work on whatever sewing project I have on for about an hour, then skincare and off to bed. Doing something with my hands has been helping relieve the stress of the day, and gets me to take the focus off the thoughts swirling around in my brain before bed.
Tapping. I had a massive headache on Wednesday, and after two session of guided tapping from The Tapping Solution app my pain went from a 9/10 to a 6/10. I can't explain it; I can only appreciate it. I am on day 5 of a 21 day gratitude tapping series - and oh how I have resisted gratitude ANYTHING in the past - but it's starting to infiltrate my brain.
Mood tracking. We're all cyclical beings. Understanding the naturally occuring and/or triggered ups-and-downs took time, but the practice has been really grounding.
I used to get overwhelmed by certain tasks and a friend who has whipped her ADHD into shape recommended "bucketing" for everything, which I now recognize as a divide & conquer or break down into manageable pieces approach. Clothes overwhelming? Multiple baskets & do one at a time. Paperwork? Multiple baskets & handle one at a time. Lots of things to do? Multiple lists grouped by type. This may not work for others, but def worked for her & also for me once I got my brain to take the first step.
LISTEN. Lisssssssten. Breaking tasks down into parts is essential for me. 10/10. Five stars. No notes.
This is why I use Notion for all of my life and project management - I can set up "buckets" (my boards in Notion) for everything... and move them around constantly and create different buckets and systems whenever my brain starts processing information in different ways -
The ADHD also means I often spend more time doing the above - creating, tweaking, recreating, moving around, thinking about - my notion boards than I do engaging with the things recorded on them....(she says as she wonders if her adderall will make it the whole month this month and why there are 7-5 pages of handwritten notes she wants to put in her notion database but everytime she starts, she gets sidetracked by the note and where it came from and why she kept it and what she could do with it in the future - hence how it gets entered into notion. :)
I’ve started telling myself that I’m just trying something out. Much easier for my stubborn self to say I’m “trying out” a social media break, “trying out” journaling, etc. It always felt like such a fake trick in the past, but now my brain doesn’t buck against going full-in or cold-turkey. Kinda like breaking down tasks…and I don’t feel so much like I’ve failed if it doesn’t stick.
Yes Debra that works for me, too! I use “I wonder” statements so that I see the new thing as exploration rather than full on committing to something. “I wonder how it feels to sit in silence each morning for 5 mins” has turned into a daily practice that I look forward to each day.
Regular therapy.
Daily pages journaling. I started it last year and it really has made my mornings better. A quick brain dump of all the static in my head, clear it out, and start the day.
I struggle so hard with journaling & I write for a living (it's my secret shame). When you say "daily pages," is there a specific type of page you're using? I'd love to learn more.
Doing daily pages is a bit too much for me, at least right now. BUT! My gratitude entries are just 3-5 sentences a day, usually. For me, keeping it concise/brief helps. If I want to write a little more, I do, but yeah.
I don’t remember who put me on to my daily gratitude practice but its called 2 minute morning. It’s quick and to the point. Each morning, answer the following:
1. I am grateful for…
2. I am letting go of…
3. I will focus on…
Done!
Love that framework, Catina. Short, sweet, and honest.
Sometimes I draw a tarot card and write from it. :)
OOOH, that's a fun idea.
I have a friend who would just pick a word or phrase that summed up how she felt that day (or whatever). Much less pressure. Lower stakes.
The concept comes from The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron - if you do it by the book, it's just 3 pages a morning, longhand, however it comes out. I don't do it purely; I bought a Moleskine daily planner that has 1 blank page a day and I fill it out. Some days I only have a few lines, others I run out of space. But it's just the discipline of doing one little thing to set a start for the day, y'know? I drink my coffee and write for a couple minutes, then face my day.
I admire the rigor of this!
Thank you! I'll admit that some of it is the joy of checking boxes, which is how you can tell I work with lawyers and accountants, lol.
You know what? I'm blocking the first 30 mins of my calendar & will give it a go next week. Thank you!
Static is such a nice way to put it.
Yes. Static/white noise.
I have always resisted journaling (I think it has something to do with it feeling "girly" to me, and I have some internalized misogyny) but I'm reading a book that suggests it and she wrote out historical figures who kept a diary. Do I think I'm better than Ida B. Wells or Albert Einstein? I'm too busy compared to Marie friggin Curie? It's working! And I feel better!
I just started doing morning pages again after like, decades, and I hate admitting that it’s totally changing the way my mind works. Dammit.
AUDIOBOOKS. AUDIOBOOKS. AUDIOBOOKS.
One of my BFF's has been preaching audiobooks to me for a minute. And in 2020, when I started traveling full time (not necessarily by choice but more due to lack of income and homelessness...), he really went all in on me. I'm love books. I love holding them. I love interacting with them. I frequently mark a book all kind of up and send it to someone as a gift (i.e. giving gut reactions in a poetry book after poems I really loved or really didn't, circling words or phrases I know they love or thing they need, and even noting when I misunderstood something, like "So weird I thought she wrote chickin lickin good - about the founder of KFC, but she wrote chillin lickin good about the need for corporat punishment. oops."
On a long ass road trip in 2019, I lisented to Michelle Obama read her book, Belonging. It made me feel incredibly close to her, and I constatly/conveniently commented that if she ever came to see any of my friends/family, it would be clear that our conversation was one-sided...me just lisnteing to her read her own story....
So in June 2021, when I started traveling full on full time, I bought a couple of the "most talked about" memoirs of the year (so far)...Kiese Layamon's, HEAVY, Carmen Maria Machado's, Int he Dream House, and Alexander Chi's, "How to write an autobiographical novel.'
I loved this process SO much that I started listening to - not reading - any memoir where the author reads it (including yours, which I listened to on a drive from FL to Richmond, VA!). Often I'm pulling over (since I'm almost always drviwing at the same time... to write down a note that comes from something the author just said, shared, or supposed...the kinds of things I would have commented on in the margins of the book.
I ended 2021 listening to Dante Stewart read, "Shoutin' in the Fire," and it was the perfect ending to my "year o memoirs" - all in all I believe I read/listend to 50+ memoirs/essay collections/etc. I am now officially hooked.
Moving my body in the first part of each day. Honestly, it helps in a few ways - releases tension in my body which helps me start my day feeling relaxed, better mood, and more energy and focus. Also, reframing how I view exercise has been a huge plus. Each day I say to myself “how are you moving this body today, girl” and that makes it fun and light and it doesn’t feel like a task. Moving my body can mean so many things - walking my dog, stretching, hula hoop, swinging a kettle bell, or putting on a favorite song and dancing hard like I am trying out to be a backup dancer for Beyonce.
playing wordle lol
Hahaha. Love that for you!
It is wonderful to have something to look forward to each day.
Early morning walks rain or shine. Even when it's freezing. Sunlight in eyes, that kinda thing. Does wonders for my fluctuating mental state, (at least for the first few hours of the day).
The snow and cold have messed up my walk-flow a bit lately and I'm really feeling it.
Me too. Anyone have ways to trick yourself to walk outside when you HATE the cold? Other than "bundling up" which works once I'm outside but doesn't help me get out the front door?
If anyone has ideas, please let me (and my dog) know too!
Daily walks have become so important. I was sitting at my desk yesterday and started spiraling and dragged myself out of the house for a second walk. Even 15 minutes can help me reset. And Saeed, I hear your boyfriend on the stretching, but I'm not there yet. ; )
Like.... I get it, I get it. Stretching is a GREAT idea. And I do feel great when I do it... once every three or four months. LOL. But, ya know, I transform at my own pace.
I am the worst at routines and habits. But guided meditation, especially at night if I'm struggling to wind down and sleep, has been so helpful. And I totally rolled my eyes at the guided meditation advice in the past.
DRINKING WATER. WHAT THE HELL
Okay, this is very me, Holly.
Meditating. I'm on my 26th day in a row. I do it either after I exercise or right before bed. I use the Calm app's Daily Trip, and I really enjoy it.
Meditation and breathwork!
I will admit that, in the last couple of years, taking a moment to breathe with intention when I'm feeling tense or anxious HAS been really helpful. It's such a simple thing but whew.
Definitely! Breath is literally life and we forget it so often, powerful yet simple ❣️
Creating an evening routine! For the longest time I thought I just could NOT make it work but it was just a matter of finding the right combination of activities. Now it goes something like this: Make a cup of tea, queue up an audiobook or podcast, get my sewing supplies and then proceed to work on whatever sewing project I have on for about an hour, then skincare and off to bed. Doing something with my hands has been helping relieve the stress of the day, and gets me to take the focus off the thoughts swirling around in my brain before bed.
I can get into your routine, Kaila! I’m crocheting at night to stay off of my phone right before bed.
Taking the time to meditate for 8 mins before I do anything else in the morning. I don't do it every day, but I'm trying to.
Tapping. I had a massive headache on Wednesday, and after two session of guided tapping from The Tapping Solution app my pain went from a 9/10 to a 6/10. I can't explain it; I can only appreciate it. I am on day 5 of a 21 day gratitude tapping series - and oh how I have resisted gratitude ANYTHING in the past - but it's starting to infiltrate my brain.
100% Stretching in bed and also breathing in for two, out for 3 (5x) when I feel like I am getting anxious or realize I am dissociating
Mood tracking. We're all cyclical beings. Understanding the naturally occuring and/or triggered ups-and-downs took time, but the practice has been really grounding.