I just got back home from teaching a nonfiction writing workshop in Portland, Oregon for Tin House. Here’s something I often say as a mentor: Writing a memoir is an artistic triathlon made of three essential questions:
Is the narrative coherent?
Does this narrative have a rich relationship with The Truth?
Have you made your narrative memorable?
WHEW. Each of those questions are tricky and demand careful attention. My friend Isaac’s new book DIRTBAG, MASSACHUSETTSis excellent for many reasons, but also because the writing answers and actually transcends those three questions. It’s out now. And I’m excited for y’all to read it.
Tell me about some memoirs you think deserve a gold medal.
Ooh definitely Know My Name by Chanel Miller and Between Two Kingdoms by Suleika Jaouad, both were so beautifully written about incredibly difficult experiences.
Know My Name by Chanel Miller is a gold medal worthy memoir in my opinion. Other memoirs that come to mind that are gold medal worthy are: Beautiful Country by Qian Julie Wang, Unbound by Tarana Burke, and Somebody's Daughter by Ashley C. Ford! Dirtbag, Massachusetts is on my list of books to buy next time I'm at the bookstore so hopefully will read it soon!!
(am I allowed to name yours? Because yours is definitely on the list also)
Crying in H Mart was excellent as was Goodbye Sweet Girl by Kelly Sundberg. I also just love Cheryl Strayed essay The Love of My Life - it has me in tears each time. Know My Name by Chanel Miller was awesome, especially listening to it on audiobook. Minor Feelings by Cathy Park Hong was awesome too! I also absolutely loved Hunger by Roxane Gay
Yours, Saeed, and Somebody's Daughter by Ashley C. Ford are two of my favs. I take them off the shelf often just for inspiration. Also, how can we find out when/where you'll be teaching again? I'd love to sign up!
Barbarian Life by William Finnegan. A surfing memoir that is insightful and fascinating without being overly impressed with its topic. Addresses fear and uncertainty way more than ‘woah, a huge wave! anecdotes. My attention never dropped.
Since Jan of 2021, I have read or listened to* 50+ memoirs from authors who are not white, cis men & who are not celebrities (w the exception of Billy Porter’s Unrotected because Billy Porter). I started doing this because I started working on my memoir and nothing I wrote sounded like what I thought a memoir sounded like.
I’ve thought a lot about which ones I really loved and wondered how much of that was connected to where I was - physically and mentally - in the hardest year of my life (at that time). And I was (sometimes painfully aware) of the ones I didn’t love - or maybe even didn’t really like or maybe just wasn’t impressed by - that writers I respect and follow raves about.
Here are my faves, in no particular order:
• Heavy by Kiese Laymon
• Shoutin in the Fire by Dante Stewart
• Here for it by R. Eric Lewis
• Homeland Elegies by Ayad Akhtar
• In the Dreamhouse by Carmen Maria Muchado
• How to write an Autobiograpgical Novel by Alexander Chee
• How We Figjt for Our Lives by Saeed Jones :)
• Men We Reaped by Jesmyn Ward
• All the Young Men: a memoir of love, AIDS, and chosen family in the American South by Ruth Coker Burks
• Against Memoir by Michelle Tea
• the Art Of Leaving by Ayelet Tsabari
*i always choose to listen to the audio of a memoir if the author reads it!
There are so many good modern ones that I’m sure will get listed so I just have to say ME by Katharine Hepburn. She isn’t precious about herself and has some life philosophies that I still think about now, years after reading it.
I remember Mary Karr's Lit blowing me away when it came out. I just read—and really enjoyed—Ada Calhoun's Also a Poet, which is such an interesting combination of ideas and narrative threads. And Paul Monette's Becoming a Man got richer and more important the second time I read it...and this is reminding me I should go back and do that again.
My Broken Language by Quiara Alegria Hudes. Beautiful evocation of one Puerto Rican family’s experience on the mainland that resonated with me, but also her creative journey. Honest and rich in details and language.
As usual, loving this conversation and adding titles to my list of books to read. As others have said your work, Saeed, is a favorite. And one that I read back in a memoir class in undergrad that still haunts me is First They Killed My Father by Loung Ung.
Heavy is the GOAT memoir for me - the artistry and the way is circles around what is the truth of a situation and why it matters to get it right but how hard that is even when you want to do it.
I also loved Leaving isn't the hardest thing because the content is very personal and relevant to me.
And there's a ton of memoirs I've been meaning to read that I haven't gotten to yet lol
Most recently, Somebody's Daughter by Ashley C. Ford. I couldn't put it down.
Ooh definitely Know My Name by Chanel Miller and Between Two Kingdoms by Suleika Jaouad, both were so beautifully written about incredibly difficult experiences.
Came here to say Just Kids by Patti Smith. And more recently Also A Poet by Ada Calhoun.
Know My Name by Chanel Miller is a gold medal worthy memoir in my opinion. Other memoirs that come to mind that are gold medal worthy are: Beautiful Country by Qian Julie Wang, Unbound by Tarana Burke, and Somebody's Daughter by Ashley C. Ford! Dirtbag, Massachusetts is on my list of books to buy next time I'm at the bookstore so hopefully will read it soon!!
(am I allowed to name yours? Because yours is definitely on the list also)
Hunger by Roxane Gay, In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado, Being Lolita by Allisson Wood, and Abandon Me by Melissa Febos
Crying in H Mart was excellent as was Goodbye Sweet Girl by Kelly Sundberg. I also just love Cheryl Strayed essay The Love of My Life - it has me in tears each time. Know My Name by Chanel Miller was awesome, especially listening to it on audiobook. Minor Feelings by Cathy Park Hong was awesome too! I also absolutely loved Hunger by Roxane Gay
Love is a Mix Tape, Rob Sheffield. It's somehow deeply emotionally relevant to both my marriages in radically different ways.
Yours, Saeed, and Somebody's Daughter by Ashley C. Ford are two of my favs. I take them off the shelf often just for inspiration. Also, how can we find out when/where you'll be teaching again? I'd love to sign up!
Barbarian Life by William Finnegan. A surfing memoir that is insightful and fascinating without being overly impressed with its topic. Addresses fear and uncertainty way more than ‘woah, a huge wave! anecdotes. My attention never dropped.
Smile: the story of a face by Sarah Ruhl, Between Two Kingdoms by Suleika Jaouad and Easy Beauty by Chloé Cooper Jones are some recent favorites!
On a light note, Yearbook by Seth Rogen (if you consider that a memoir?) is fantastic. A nice respite from the heaviness all around us.
Since Jan of 2021, I have read or listened to* 50+ memoirs from authors who are not white, cis men & who are not celebrities (w the exception of Billy Porter’s Unrotected because Billy Porter). I started doing this because I started working on my memoir and nothing I wrote sounded like what I thought a memoir sounded like.
I’ve thought a lot about which ones I really loved and wondered how much of that was connected to where I was - physically and mentally - in the hardest year of my life (at that time). And I was (sometimes painfully aware) of the ones I didn’t love - or maybe even didn’t really like or maybe just wasn’t impressed by - that writers I respect and follow raves about.
Here are my faves, in no particular order:
• Heavy by Kiese Laymon
• Shoutin in the Fire by Dante Stewart
• Here for it by R. Eric Lewis
• Homeland Elegies by Ayad Akhtar
• In the Dreamhouse by Carmen Maria Muchado
• How to write an Autobiograpgical Novel by Alexander Chee
• How We Figjt for Our Lives by Saeed Jones :)
• Men We Reaped by Jesmyn Ward
• All the Young Men: a memoir of love, AIDS, and chosen family in the American South by Ruth Coker Burks
• Against Memoir by Michelle Tea
• the Art Of Leaving by Ayelet Tsabari
*i always choose to listen to the audio of a memoir if the author reads it!
There are so many good modern ones that I’m sure will get listed so I just have to say ME by Katharine Hepburn. She isn’t precious about herself and has some life philosophies that I still think about now, years after reading it.
Stepping Back from the Ledge by Laura Trujillo...not only well-written but made a personal connection to me and my relationship with my mother.
Excited to dive into Dirtbag, Massachusetts. It's on the list!
A few memoirs that really stuck with me:
Smoke Gets in Your Eyes & Other Lessons from the Crematorium by Caitlin Doughty
Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner
Somebody’s Daughter by Ashley C. Ford
Meaty by Samantha Irby (technically essays, but still has a memoir aspect to it!)
Priestdaddy by Patricia Lockwood
Also, Saeed, your memoir is fantastic. I read it in a day- I couldn’t put it down!
Heavy by Kiese Laymon gets extra mention always. Natasha Trethewey's Memorial Drive. And Gloria Swanson's early Hollywood dish, Swanson on Swanson.
I remember Mary Karr's Lit blowing me away when it came out. I just read—and really enjoyed—Ada Calhoun's Also a Poet, which is such an interesting combination of ideas and narrative threads. And Paul Monette's Becoming a Man got richer and more important the second time I read it...and this is reminding me I should go back and do that again.
Angela’s Ashes, Frank McCourt
Becoming, Michelle Obama
Heavy, Kiese Laymon
Educated, Tara Westiver
The World According To Fannie Davis, Bridgett M Davis
When Women Were Birds by Terry Tempest Williams is the one that comes to mind for me.
My Broken Language by Quiara Alegria Hudes. Beautiful evocation of one Puerto Rican family’s experience on the mainland that resonated with me, but also her creative journey. Honest and rich in details and language.
As usual, loving this conversation and adding titles to my list of books to read. As others have said your work, Saeed, is a favorite. And one that I read back in a memoir class in undergrad that still haunts me is First They Killed My Father by Loung Ung.
No Lifeguard on Duty by Janice Dickinson
Heavy is the GOAT memoir for me - the artistry and the way is circles around what is the truth of a situation and why it matters to get it right but how hard that is even when you want to do it.
I also loved Leaving isn't the hardest thing because the content is very personal and relevant to me.
And there's a ton of memoirs I've been meaning to read that I haven't gotten to yet lol