What is something you are determined to do in 2020? (Pro-tip: Use the “will” verb — as in, “I will write a first draft of that novel I’ve been thinking about writing for years” and articulate why this will be a big step forward for you.
I’ll post my determination in the comments and will be online for the next hour, cheering you on.
I will be more thoughtful about how I treat my body. I think I've been taking my physical self for granted and, though I'm grateful that my body has seen me through these 34 years, I haven't always been kind to it. In 2020, I will recognize and honor the obvious fact that my health (therapy! regular check-ins! a long overdue trip to the dentist! etc etc) is just as integral as career and relationship goals.
YES, good for you! TIP: When you are finished with any version of self-care appt (dentist, therapy, massage) schedule the NEXT ONE as you are leaving. Time goes by and we don't realize it, but the scheduled appt acts as a reminder. AND, let's face it, who wants to remember to schedule a dentist appt. ;)
BONUS: If you want your determination featured in an upcoming episode of WNYC's "Death, Sex & Money," record your determination as a voice memo and email it deathsexmoney@wnyc.org! xo.
That little voice seeking to sabotage our creative work is ALWAYS going to be in the room with us. I thought it would go away once I wrote my first book, or my second book. I thought it would go away if I won this award or that prize. Eventually, we realize that we have to decide for ourselves that what we are creating is WORTH the effort it takes to willfully ignore that voice. KEEP GOING, KRISTEN.
I will create an identity for myself separate from being a mom. My kids are 2 and 8 months and so it's been all consuming but I don't want to be in the habit of pushing myself aside. I will edit the first draft of my novel, do yoga, read, get back to baking and not feel guilty about it!
I will get a full-time job, earning $60,000 with benefits, in the DC area! I'm graduating in June and I'm being specific about my intentions and goals. I will also find joy in my work, instead of dread and anxiety.
I really like the specificity here, Camille -- especially because you connect the goal to how it will impact you. When we lessen dread and anxiety's grip on us, we can really thrive in a whole new way! XO.
YES! I love this. I had a great MFA experience at Rutgers-Newark. I look forward to seeing you thrive in a MFA program provides you with great funding (so you can focus on the work), a diverse community of mentors and peers, and a balance between creative and practical career advice. Onward, MC!
I will get a full-time job that aligns my skills with my values. No job is perfect, and there will be bad days, but I will aim for the stability that I’ve been missing.
My friend gave me some gorgeous shea butter as a christmas gift and it defined my resolution. I WILL do better basting this all-white-meat dry turkey body of mine daily.
I will write and submit my screenplay to contests and graduate schools. I will improve my GPA for graduate schools and I will go to graduate school in fall 2021
I will finish the full first draft of my memoir about my half-Southern, half-Palestinian family. And I will finish the draft of my collection of humor essays. I’ve been working on both concurrently and it’s time to wrap things up and get them in the hands of an agent. Which means I will also find a great agent who advocates for my work. 💗
Sounds like you're well on your way and have already done so much. All you've got to do it is keep at it. Thrilled to see what comes from this journey, Mandy.
I will pass my Clinical Social Worker Exam. I will be kind to my body- physical self, my thoughts, and my emotions. I will brush my teeth before bed and floss daily. I will stretch and thank my body for what it does for me everyday. I will practice being comfortable with slowing down and "doing nothing" (shout out to Jenny Odell!)
I will be honest with my family when asked about my dating life. They often ask when I will have a girlfriend. Telling them I have been going on dates with men for over a year now will be...freeing.
I will keep at my passion project: a literary podcast that keeps listeners informed about the bookish world. A passion project is a fancy way of saying it doesn't pay the bills, but it is important to me to spread joy and laughter during this time that can feel lacking in both optimism and hope! It takes a lot of time, but the "feel good" payback is TOTALLY worth it.
I will actively seek a loving relationship and not let past hurts stop me from getting back out there. I will keep myself open and my walls down. It won’t be easy but since I always achieve my goals, I know I can do it.
I will find a sustainable place for writing in my life after undergrad. I'll build my community of writers to grow with, get into healthy long term routines for making my poems and putting them in the world, and I'll be more patient with myself when I gotta change or pause those routines. This is the life I wanna keep living as far forward as I can picture. I wanna make sure writing keeps being as filling in my life as it can.
I will finish a draft of my memoir on grief, trauma, and violence. I will excel at my new job advocating for first-generation, low-income, students of color. I will learn to be kind to my body. I will go back to therapy.
I will make it out of the country to Europe or Africa and not give back vacation time (money) left on the table this year. Waiting for others to schedule and make time didn’t work. Lesson learned. Moving forward.
I will listen to, prioritize, and take care of my mind, body, and spirit. I will say "no" to the things that prevent me from nourishing my mind, body, and spirit.
I will overcome my paralyzing fear and start attending French conversation group on Tuesdays in 2020. Just walking in and sitting down at the table on the regular will be a huge accomplishment.
Heart in my throat and tears in my eyes as I write, but I will hire a vocal coach and find places to sing. I will do my best to overcome my stage fright.
Stage fright is SO real and singing is just about the most vulnerable experience in the world. Wishing you to find a vocal coach and a group to sing with that are warm and friendly and supportive so that you can grow.
Yes! I quit in my early 20s because I was tired of bullying choir directors, but started again a few years ago. My voice has changed dramatically for the better since then, & I’ve grown so much in confidence. I prefer to blend in to singing alone though!
I will produce my first show this year. I succeeded in writing it and revising last year, but had to postpone the physical production. Looking forward to working on it and gaining the experience that only comes with trial by fire. (Thanks for this, Saeed.)
I will rest and separate myself from both busy work and the idea of exhaustion as a status symbol. I will write the poems I want to write and I will be brave about pursuing performance as a way for me to share my words.
I will regularly make art, including using that Photoshop suite I'm paying for on the projects I've been putting off because I don't exactly know what I'm doing. I will write that first draft of a novel I've been puttering on for years without getting obsessed with what will happen with it afterwards. I will get a strength building/recovery plan and honor that my body is working as hard as it possibly can and I need to keep it moving. ❤️
I will train to walk a 5k on April 4th by starting today and walking 15 minutes a week for a month to build up my stamina before moving to a more race-specific training format. The last time I tried this 5k I had to quit halfway through and I was mortified. This year I will finish and I will find it if not an enjoyable experience, an endurable one.
I will take a deep breath and sit down with more than 40 years of handwritten notebooks. I will decide what to work with and what to let go of. This is this year’s writing work for me.
I will stand up for myself more, so that I can honor my intentions, integrity, and time. This has been a huge sticking point for me to learn in therapy, and something I want to put into practice this year. I tend to think of my own self-care as selfish, since it means I'm putting myself first and not helping or being there for others. But that just means I'm not there for myself, and it can lead to absolute, total burnout of the mind and body. So I WILL stand up for myself this year, and make 2020 a year that honors how far I've come, and where I'm going next.
That, and I will finally finish a book that I'm happy with enough to send it out into the world!
I will prioritize self-love. I will remind myself that I am enough. I will respect my boundaries, my dreams, and my body first and foremost. I will lift up other women as I fly.
I will write and send a letter to the woman who gave birth to me, and in doing so, confront a big fear of the unknown that has loomed over me for a long time. (Mother is a strange term for someone adopted at birth. :)
I will be awake, awakened, awoken to myself. I will be present, engaged and determined to create and manifest my own creativity again. I will get back to therapy and continue to honor the ancestors by examining my heart and mind more often. I will examine my connection to Buddhism, and continue to find a practice that works for me.
I will write the memoir about grief and caretaking that has been forming within me over the last few years. I will move to New York. I will be kinder to myself.
I will care for myself, not just in the moment but for the long term. I will push through my fear and build the habit of creating. I will talk to more strangers. I will make that podcast! I will say no to things that don't serve me and my loved ones. I will give my time to others intentionally!
I will be more thoughtful about how I treat my body. I think I've been taking my physical self for granted and, though I'm grateful that my body has seen me through these 34 years, I haven't always been kind to it. In 2020, I will recognize and honor the obvious fact that my health (therapy! regular check-ins! a long overdue trip to the dentist! etc etc) is just as integral as career and relationship goals.
YES, good for you! TIP: When you are finished with any version of self-care appt (dentist, therapy, massage) schedule the NEXT ONE as you are leaving. Time goes by and we don't realize it, but the scheduled appt acts as a reminder. AND, let's face it, who wants to remember to schedule a dentist appt. ;)
Oh, wow. That's great advice. Thank you, Emily!
Dental Hygiene is a must in 2020 (sorry about the first 27 years, teeth and gums)
Yes, you will! It is so hard to do and SO VERY IMPORTANT! Well done!
YES. "We only get one body." And I like the idea of friends supporting one another in this way.
BONUS: If you want your determination featured in an upcoming episode of WNYC's "Death, Sex & Money," record your determination as a voice memo and email it deathsexmoney@wnyc.org! xo.
I will stop being paralyzed by my fears of mediocrity and write the book I want (need) to write. For myself and the people I’ve lost.
That little voice seeking to sabotage our creative work is ALWAYS going to be in the room with us. I thought it would go away once I wrote my first book, or my second book. I thought it would go away if I won this award or that prize. Eventually, we realize that we have to decide for ourselves that what we are creating is WORTH the effort it takes to willfully ignore that voice. KEEP GOING, KRISTEN.
Thank you for this 💖
I will see new-to-me bodies of water in new-to-me places!
Oh! I love this, Dee. Being near water has always been important to me. (That's why it shows up in all of my books!) Cheers to you.
I will create an identity for myself separate from being a mom. My kids are 2 and 8 months and so it's been all consuming but I don't want to be in the habit of pushing myself aside. I will edit the first draft of my novel, do yoga, read, get back to baking and not feel guilty about it!
Sommer, this is so beautiful and real. I'm cheering you on.
I will succeed at my job. I will not dread going to work each day.
You can do it, Jen! I know because I've been there. Let's free ourselves of dread in the new year!
You and me both Jen!!
I will get a full-time job, earning $60,000 with benefits, in the DC area! I'm graduating in June and I'm being specific about my intentions and goals. I will also find joy in my work, instead of dread and anxiety.
I really like the specificity here, Camille -- especially because you connect the goal to how it will impact you. When we lessen dread and anxiety's grip on us, we can really thrive in a whole new way! XO.
Thank you!
Hi Camille, hope you find something you love doing! 💪🏽 Aim as high as you want! Know your worth💪🏽
Thank you!
I will get into the MFA program of my choice
YES! I love this. I had a great MFA experience at Rutgers-Newark. I look forward to seeing you thrive in a MFA program provides you with great funding (so you can focus on the work), a diverse community of mentors and peers, and a balance between creative and practical career advice. Onward, MC!
I will get a full-time job that aligns my skills with my values. No job is perfect, and there will be bad days, but I will aim for the stability that I’ve been missing.
I will get a full-time job that aligns my skills with my values, too. We both will. Plus everyone in this chain :)
YES WE WILL!
I feel this so much, Ilana!
I will get accepted into a masters in data science program!
YES. YOU. WILL.
I will be out of bed at a regular time consistently to start my day without rushing, and carry that confidence into the world.
WHEW, yes. I see the vision. I'm working on that morning consistency as well. Happy new year, Jonesey!
Happy New Year to you, as well! and thanks for asking, btw. I may have cried thinking about an intentional future, so, yeah. Bless!
My friend gave me some gorgeous shea butter as a christmas gift and it defined my resolution. I WILL do better basting this all-white-meat dry turkey body of mine daily.
HAHAHAHA. I see the vision and I have no choice but to stan! Here's to more white people moisturizing in 2020. A new era begins!
I will write and submit my screenplay to contests and graduate schools. I will improve my GPA for graduate schools and I will go to graduate school in fall 2021
I will hike at least once a week, all year!
I won't lie, Erin. Hiking and I are not friends, but I love this for YOU! Get out there and get free. xo.
I started doing trail walks seriously this year, and I absolutely love it. Good luck!
I will write a full draft of my first novel. I will pass my qualifying exams. I will publish my first speculative short story.
I will start HRT. I will speak up for myself.
I will finish the full first draft of my memoir about my half-Southern, half-Palestinian family. And I will finish the draft of my collection of humor essays. I’ve been working on both concurrently and it’s time to wrap things up and get them in the hands of an agent. Which means I will also find a great agent who advocates for my work. 💗
Sounds like you're well on your way and have already done so much. All you've got to do it is keep at it. Thrilled to see what comes from this journey, Mandy.
I will pass my Clinical Social Worker Exam. I will be kind to my body- physical self, my thoughts, and my emotions. I will brush my teeth before bed and floss daily. I will stretch and thank my body for what it does for me everyday. I will practice being comfortable with slowing down and "doing nothing" (shout out to Jenny Odell!)
I *will* do what I need to do to heal my body: eat with care, move more, sleep when I need to.
I will stop waiting for things to happen! Time to figure out what’s next and get to it! Stop renting and own (1st)!
I will move out of my parents' house and open my online store. I will be able to financially support myself.
I will be honest with my family when asked about my dating life. They often ask when I will have a girlfriend. Telling them I have been going on dates with men for over a year now will be...freeing.
Thank you for this! Love the idea of determinations. In 2020, I will get a job and move out. Good luck and happy holidays! :)
I will get that grant money next week and finish that novel like I promised myself I would. I will walk through the pain holding me back.
Walk tall and proud, Julie.
I will be kind to everyone I encounter on my journey through 2020.
I will keep at my passion project: a literary podcast that keeps listeners informed about the bookish world. A passion project is a fancy way of saying it doesn't pay the bills, but it is important to me to spread joy and laughter during this time that can feel lacking in both optimism and hope! It takes a lot of time, but the "feel good" payback is TOTALLY worth it.
I will actively seek a loving relationship and not let past hurts stop me from getting back out there. I will keep myself open and my walls down. It won’t be easy but since I always achieve my goals, I know I can do it.
I will continue to apply for new jobs that align with my personal interests and values, with the hope of taking on a new position by June!
I will find a sustainable place for writing in my life after undergrad. I'll build my community of writers to grow with, get into healthy long term routines for making my poems and putting them in the world, and I'll be more patient with myself when I gotta change or pause those routines. This is the life I wanna keep living as far forward as I can picture. I wanna make sure writing keeps being as filling in my life as it can.
I will start a daily writing practice while I have so much time to do so.
I will finish a draft of my memoir on grief, trauma, and violence. I will excel at my new job advocating for first-generation, low-income, students of color. I will learn to be kind to my body. I will go back to therapy.
I will make it out of the country to Europe or Africa and not give back vacation time (money) left on the table this year. Waiting for others to schedule and make time didn’t work. Lesson learned. Moving forward.
I will listen to, prioritize, and take care of my mind, body, and spirit. I will say "no" to the things that prevent me from nourishing my mind, body, and spirit.
I will overcome my paralyzing fear and start attending French conversation group on Tuesdays in 2020. Just walking in and sitting down at the table on the regular will be a huge accomplishment.
i will make the move i’ve been dreaming of.
Heart in my throat and tears in my eyes as I write, but I will hire a vocal coach and find places to sing. I will do my best to overcome my stage fright.
Stage fright is SO real and singing is just about the most vulnerable experience in the world. Wishing you to find a vocal coach and a group to sing with that are warm and friendly and supportive so that you can grow.
Thank you. I often compare it to walking down the street naked.
Do you sing?
Yes! I quit in my early 20s because I was tired of bullying choir directors, but started again a few years ago. My voice has changed dramatically for the better since then, & I’ve grown so much in confidence. I prefer to blend in to singing alone though!
I hear ya on the bullying choir directors. What part do you sing? And, who are your influences?
I will produce my first show this year. I succeeded in writing it and revising last year, but had to postpone the physical production. Looking forward to working on it and gaining the experience that only comes with trial by fire. (Thanks for this, Saeed.)
I will rest and separate myself from both busy work and the idea of exhaustion as a status symbol. I will write the poems I want to write and I will be brave about pursuing performance as a way for me to share my words.
I will regularly make art, including using that Photoshop suite I'm paying for on the projects I've been putting off because I don't exactly know what I'm doing. I will write that first draft of a novel I've been puttering on for years without getting obsessed with what will happen with it afterwards. I will get a strength building/recovery plan and honor that my body is working as hard as it possibly can and I need to keep it moving. ❤️
I will train to walk a 5k on April 4th by starting today and walking 15 minutes a week for a month to build up my stamina before moving to a more race-specific training format. The last time I tried this 5k I had to quit halfway through and I was mortified. This year I will finish and I will find it if not an enjoyable experience, an endurable one.
15 minutes 5 days a week, not 15 minutes a week. I wish I could get into shape in 15 minutes a week!
Hehe.
I will take a deep breath and sit down with more than 40 years of handwritten notebooks. I will decide what to work with and what to let go of. This is this year’s writing work for me.
I will overcome impostor syndrome, write more, and submit more.
♥️
I will turn in my novel to my (very patient) agent.
I will stand up for myself more, so that I can honor my intentions, integrity, and time. This has been a huge sticking point for me to learn in therapy, and something I want to put into practice this year. I tend to think of my own self-care as selfish, since it means I'm putting myself first and not helping or being there for others. But that just means I'm not there for myself, and it can lead to absolute, total burnout of the mind and body. So I WILL stand up for myself this year, and make 2020 a year that honors how far I've come, and where I'm going next.
That, and I will finally finish a book that I'm happy with enough to send it out into the world!
I will finish a second draft of my book project, as well as devote the time and energy to writing that I know it deserves.
I will prioritize self-love. I will remind myself that I am enough. I will respect my boundaries, my dreams, and my body first and foremost. I will lift up other women as I fly.
I will write and send a letter to the woman who gave birth to me, and in doing so, confront a big fear of the unknown that has loomed over me for a long time. (Mother is a strange term for someone adopted at birth. :)
I will be awake, awakened, awoken to myself. I will be present, engaged and determined to create and manifest my own creativity again. I will get back to therapy and continue to honor the ancestors by examining my heart and mind more often. I will examine my connection to Buddhism, and continue to find a practice that works for me.
I will write the memoir about grief and caretaking that has been forming within me over the last few years. I will move to New York. I will be kinder to myself.
I will care for myself, not just in the moment but for the long term. I will push through my fear and build the habit of creating. I will talk to more strangers. I will make that podcast! I will say no to things that don't serve me and my loved ones. I will give my time to others intentionally!