Let’s Kill the Productivity Scam

“If I cared more, I would’ve gotten more done today.”

I recently asked if y’all had questions for me about the creative process or just life itself. DK asked for “thoughts on what you do when you’re having a week where you don’t feel good enough, productive enough, etc. Looking for ways to manage. ❤️” This is a great, big question, and thank you for asking it, DK. It’s also a question that’s already been on my mind, because reworking our relationship with being “good enough” or “productive enough” is at the heart of what I’m trying to do with this newsletter. This is an important enough topic that  I’m going to answer your question in three installments over the next couple of weeks; hell, I might even throw in some discussion threads too. Here’s the breakdown: First, I want to step back and talk about the basic idea of being good enough: Who are we being good or productive for, and why? Second, I’ll talk about how we’re often too hard on ourselves when we think about productivity, in a way that hurts us over the long haul:  What can productivity look like besides a higher word count or more conquered “to do” items? And, finally, I’ll turn to the “show up or shut up” question: What does Saeed do when he needs to take on a looming deadline and it’s time to get it done? 

Okay, let’s get into Part One. And, as always, feel free to post new questions in the comments below; I love hearing from y’all and it’s helpful to get a sense of what you’d like to werk on. 

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DK asked for “thoughts on what you do when you’re having a week where you don’t feel good enough, productive enough, etc. Looking for ways to manage. ❤️” 

In order to answer this question in a meaningful way, I first have to address the very concept of being “good enough” or “productive enough.” In a capitalist culture such as ours, we are constantly being pushed, prodded, and guilt-tripped into believing that to be good is to be productive. I believe this phenomenon is why so many of us aren’t just struggling to make it through the day, we’re also terrorizing ourselves at night for perceived failings. If I cared more, I would’ve gotten more done today. If I really believed in this project, I wouldn’t be procrastinating. I’m struggling because something is deeply wrong with me. That’s how I bully myself when I don’t feel good or productive enough. I’d only wish that kind of self-inflicted misery on billionaires. And even then, I’m sure the rest of us would pay for it.

I believe that we will never be “enough” if we stick with this line of thinking. We just won’t. We will never be beautiful enough or happy enough or successful enough or funny enough or sexy enough, because the very notion of “enough” implies that there will always be a higher notch for us to strive to reach. The reward for reaching the next notch of “enough” is the discovery of higher, even more difficult to attain notches. What begins as motivational goal-setting can, over time, become the kind of brutal exertion that culminates in burnout, self-defeat, or worse. 

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Let’s exile the very idea of “enough.” The idea of being “good enough” or “productive enough” was invented in order to take advantage of us and to groom us so we’d welcome the plunder. In other words, if we live and create with “enough” as our measure, we are basically striving to satisfy a cruel phantom (or literal economy) that will never be satiated. That phantom doesn’t wish us well and will only reward our efforts with a demand for more, more, more. 

That said, I understand that creating work we believe in, even and especially when that work is the very act of living, requires some kind of engine. With that need in mind, I have some questions for you that I hope will be generative, DK: In terms of your creative life and work, what does “good” feel like? What do you delight in making for yourself, and how do you feel once you’re able to stand back and regard what you’ve made? Do you feel cool? Do you feel helpful? Do you feel a little more free? When you’ve produced your own good for yourself, what’s the first thing you want to do: get right back to work, rush to share it with loved ones and friends, set the work aside so it can cool off a bit? 

I’m asking because I think it would be helpful to first meditate on two or three specific instances in which you brought forth your own good. A time where you finished a short story. A time where you planned a festive gathering for a loved one or went to an event to celebrate a friend and had a great time. A time when you stood up for yourself or someone else. A time when, in the moment of the making, you understood what Toni Morrison meant when she wrote in Beloved, “you are your own best thing.” Appraising what we have already done is essential to preparing to do it again. 

And if we’re honest in our appraisal, we will remember that there were a lot of stumbles and detours and unforced errors on the way to those past highlights. Often, but not always, those missteps were essential in helping us understand what we were really trying to do, who we really want to be. And even if the mistakes were just mistakes — hollow, banal, meaningless — well, hey: let’s celebrate them too. Every day isn’t going to be a good day. Every draft or idea isn’t going to pay off in a satisfying way. I’m sure you know this but it’s easy to forget when we’re in the muck. 

No amount of work we produce or good we manifest can answer the question that lives at the root of who we are: “Am I enough?” That answer, always, will have to come from us.