Some Quick Notes Toward The Holidays

I’m just saying.

1. You don’t owe anyone your presence.

2. If your absence from the holiday table is a political act, don’t assume your silence communicates your politics. Tell them why. “I don’t break bread with people who just attempted to poison me.”

3. If you step away from people who have betrayed you, step toward people who work to keep you and others safe. Show up for people who show up for you. We swerve; we don’t vanish.

4. Let your joy be instructive. I hope you have a holiday that reminds you what holidays are supposed to feel like. Tell the people you see over the holidays that you’re glad to see them. Explain why.

5. Nothing has to be normal; we have never lived in a “normal” time. And definitely ain’t living in “normal” now. Alexa, play “It’s Not Right but It’s Okay.” All the rules are made up anyway; do what you fucking want. The pilgrims didn’t have a candle lit dinner with Native Americans. The pilgrims were murderers. Do what you fucking want.

6. Live the life you need this time.

7. My birthday is November 26; same as Tina Turner. She told me to tell you “you’re welcome.”